So, like the proverbial bad penny, I’m back. Its been a long
time since my last blog ( June 2013), and a very long time since I began
working on ‘Edith, Elizabeth and I’.
But the truth is I never actually went away, because since
starting this project in 2011, somehow, against ridiculous odds, I managed to
stay on the ‘f…ing bus’. Now, this isn’t an aggressive boast or just me
swearing for swearing’s sake. I would like to introduce you, if you are not
already familiar with it, to the Helsinki Bus station theory.
This theory was created and developed by Finnish-American
photographer Arno Minkkinen, and is an analogy of a photographers journey
to find his/her own style regardless of the opinions of others.
Karen Johnson, also a photographer (https://karenjohnsonphotography.wordpress.com/2011/08/20/the-helsinki-bus-station-theory/)
explains the analogy very succinctly-
“ In Helsinki there are 5 buses that make the same
stops within a kilometer of leaving the station. If you get off the bus after
the first kilometer, you’ll never know that each bus eventually diverges away
from the other buses and follows its own unique path. So if you keep
getting off the bus after the first kilometer and go back to the station and
take another bus for the first kilometer you will land up at the same stop
doing the same thing.”
Minkkinen compares
this to a photographer following a particular path, but in realising, or being
told they are following the same path as others, constantly goes back to the
beginning and starts again. Minkkinen says "This goes on all your
creative life: always showing new work, always being compared to others."
What's the answer? "It's simple. Stay on the bus. Stay on the f…ing
bus." Because eventually the bus ‘diverges’, eventually you find your own
‘vision’, your own way of doing things.
Oliver Burkeman further explains in his article ‘This
column will change your life: Helsinki Bus Station Theory.’ (http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/feb/23/change-life-helsinki-bus-station-theory)
that for any creative pursuit-
“the theory also illustrates a critical insight about
persistence: that in the first weeks or years of any worthwhile project,
feedback – whether from your own emotions, or from other people – isn't a
reliable indication of how you're doing.”
He acknowledges however that ‘triggering hostile reactions’ doesn’t necessarily mean you must
be doing the right thing; it just doesn't prove you're doing the wrong one.
In the case of ‘Edith, Elizabeth and I’, the project
wasn’t initially about the pursuit of originality or ‘vision’. I just wanted to
create an interesting piece of theatre, about identity and biography, which
featured two remarkable women of the past, and explored my attachment to them,
as a woman of today. Ultimately I wanted to produce a full performance, and
take the piece on tour. I knew my bus followed a fairly well worn route; a solo
show with a biographical element, although not a biography, one actress playing multiple characters; nothing that hadn’t been done before. So my aim from
the offset wasn’t to find my own path, it was to get on the bus and get to my
destination.
What I didn’t
anticipate were the roadblocks, diversions, hijack attempts and ‘breakdowns’. A
catalogue of disasters, criticisms, and just some general everyday
distractions, most of which are not even worth listing here, but all of which
made me want to get off the stupid ‘Edith bus’, and go back to the station. A
particular low point was when one ‘critic’, having seen a ‘work in progress’
version of the play, commented that the ‘acting’ wasn’t adequate and, being a
show with physical character changes, suggested that ‘Berkoff could do
it!’ An interesting idea, and almost worth entertaining because of its
bizarreness, but after some thought the answer was ‘You know what, Berkoff ‘s
got his own bus, he’s got a fleet of buses- so he can bloody well get off
mine!’
And that’s partly why I was able stay on my bus; sheer
bloody mindedness, a stubborn streak that I’d always been aware of, but through
making my own journey, am now embracing fully. And in spite of the critics,
there were plenty of people who helped me stay on that bus, even when it turned
into a slightly dangerous runaway vehicle, and when I knew they wanted to
scream-‘If you don’t get off that bus, I will drag you off, because this is
madness and I am so very sick of hearing you talk about it!’ Instead they
(metaphorically and actually) gave me extra money to top up my ‘bus ticket’ or
a ‘packed lunch’ to help me on my way. And I am eternally grateful to them. It was actualy one of these stalwart supporters, my friend Rebekah, who originally told me about the Helsinki Bus Station Theory- And the immortal line became my mantra, sometimes said out loud when things went wrong- 'Stay on the f...ing bus, stay on the f...ing bus, Just stay on the godamned F...ING BUS!' To the outside world I may have looked off my trolley... but I was still on that bus!
And the funny, but possibly not suprising thing is, that the
play now is very much about forging your own path, and finding your own way in
life. Edith Sitwell was someone who did that, who stayed on her bus, and
in doing so found her own unique journey. She ‘devoted her whole life to
writing poetry’, but it wasn’t an easy ride. There were many distractions; as
the eldest and only girl she was the one expected to turn her attention to
family, to earn enough money to live she wrote prose rather then her favoured
medium, and her life in London was ‘plagued with interruptions, which
‘kidnapped her time’. And there were always criticisms, ranging from the fact
her poems were full of ‘monotonous themes and mannerisms’ to the suggestion
that she was as ‘ugly as modern poetry’- to which she replied ‘ How one looks
seems to have nothing to do with ones work at all!’ She would have told Berkoff to get off her bus, and no
mistake.
I am now coming into sight of my original destination, and I
am so glad I stayed on the bus. ‘Edith, Elizabeth and I’ is now a fully
written, fully rehearsed production with a beautiful set, and has had three
public preview performances (The Marlborough Theatre and The Tristan Bates) and there are more to come over the next few monthes, and then a potential tour later
this year or early next.
I won’t be on
the ‘Edith bus’ forever, as there will be new projects and ideas, and different
journeys. But I am now somewhere different, somewhere where I’m aware and proud
of my own personal and artistic abilities as a writer, performer and theatre
maker. I won’t be going back to the bus station…just carrying on the adventure,
from this point, on a new bus.
(Photograph by Allison Dewey. All performance details of 'Edith, Elizabeth and I' on the website http://www.edithwho.org.uk )